Anyway, Who Are You?
A debtor to Coventry Council. £1800 in parking tickets. A brash, crude poet who makes attempts at vulnerability. Constantly in paradox. On the level - unhinged.
Selected Works
Stalagmite
So readily the words return -- Rebelling against an unmoved face In forms familiar but uncertain distorted by melted stalagmite And years of whispers,dripping Cutting small crevices Carefully into callus surfaces Tightly clenched jawline formations Allowing weeping water to run And hang, on the underside Ready to fall And guloup into a secret pool On a bathroom floor It catches me off guard One voice returns first Then a chorus quickly follows A thousand discouragements. Some from as far back as I can hear Some hopeless, low hums sooner return All me. Every single echo. The shrill, naive laugh of youth The moments of mortality Fish and chips in Bournemouth A blanket den Watching perfect breasts through bathroom cracks Bloody noses blown into thin white tissue paper Ringing and bellowing back As though I only spoke it yesterday
Manifestation
Manifestation In the middle classes Is a very powerful tool The middle classes Can Manifest all sorts From surplus money to a dog sitter I know it's true. I have seen. Endless floods of poems And Instagram memes Explaining to me (a non manifestor) That they made it from one level To the next They just jumped Like Mario. And a few polyphonic sounds later They were there. With a million coins. Inflated. Posting. However, Such great power Comes with great responsibility: I hereby request that The middle class manifestors manifest The solutions To the memes you post about Gaza And your awful BBC recipes And your clinically edged garden And the wage gap And the children you raise Who have seen your ‘manifestation’ First hand As the sole breadwinner in your house Manifests even more powerfully All whilst working 9 hours a day At a tech firm Manifesting £75,000 a year Of pure, Out of the blue, Completely manifested No question about it Money money money Nextly. I would request. Oh so powerful mediator of funds out of nowhere Universal gold digger -- That you Manifest Basic Economics Education For all of those manifestors Who don't realise That resources are finite That your amazing Gossiped about Memed “manifestation” Is. Literally. No question. Detracting from the helpless wishes Of someone else. Who doesn't have a breadwinner. I know. I know. They should Manifest Not wish. That's not the way to do it. But it's all they have… That and the baby And no father And the dying mother And no care home Maybe You Could Manifest Some Help Bitch.
Praise & Reviews
"This guy really pissed me off. No need for all that bad language and crudeness."
— Middle Aged Through Police Lady, Manchester
"Funny. Unarguably funny. My wife left early."
— Sam Tiller, London
"This guy performed and then talked all the way through my set."
— Sam Tiller, London
Past Performances
Someantics Slam Final, Runner Up, Leicester
Get Mouth, Headline Act, Leicester
Rushden Rhymes Headline Act, Rushden
The Fire Brick Red Moon Book Launch, Book Owner